I'm totally ignoring this guy. 👀The voice of the saboteur.He is not my clients' friend, but he acts like one.He pretends to keep them safe by telling them they can't.But the truth is that he is just scared of change, and doesn't like to take risks.He visits me sometimes too.My learnings are:✔ We need to be able to recognize him first. How does he make us feel?✔ Only by raising our saboteur awareness can we differentiate it from the real red flags.The voice of the saboteur tries to prevent my talented clients from moving forward.But I remind them that we have to learn to live with him.So be compassionate, he is trying to help because he would hate to see you fail.When he is strong and convincing and doesn’t allow you to be your biggest fan, at least make sure you are being kind to yourself.Don’t give him power and answer this question:What advice would you give to a friend in your situation?That level of kindness!How are you dealing with your saboteur?
These are all limiting assumptions:➡️ I will never find a job I love➡️ I am not as intelligent as my boss➡️ I am blocked and can’t move onA limiting assumption is how you think the reality will be limiting you in your life when it happens.But the truth is that there is no scientific evidence that proves that any of that will happen.Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right. 💥You need to change your perspective by removing limiting assumptions from your thinking so you can think again.We do that by:1️⃣ Active listening2️⃣ Asking a new questionNancy Kline explains the following structure in her book “Time to Think”:“The first part of the question asserts a positive assumption; the second part directs the Thinker’s attention back to their issue or goal”:✅ If you knew you can find a job you love, what steps would you take?✅ If you knew you are as intelligent as your boss, what would you do?✅ If you were not blocked and had power, how would you behave?Are limiting beliefs holding you back?I invite you to identify your own assumptions, question them... and remove them!Have a great day!
Coming back from vacation can be difficult. During a good holiday you are able to change your routines; you feel rested and you connect with yourself. Inspiration and creative ideas might arise and by the end of the holiday, you have more clarity and are a more effective person.Then on the first day back to work we take all that energy and fill our calendar with meetings; we want to be productive.The truth is that when you don’t take the chance to explore those new ways of looking at things, you miss out on a tremendous opportunity.Perspective is a key element in any coaching session. A lot of hard work goes into exploring other ways of approaching the topic that the client brings.When the client manages to detach from a specific point of view, they can discover different solutions to achieve their goals.After a holiday break:✔ Give yourself an easy start and take the opportunity to play with new interpretations of reality✔ Work on your internal awareness; perspective is a muscle, exercise itYour perspective is what determines your experience, not your circumstances. A new positive perspective might bring you a new great attitude.If this doesn’t work. . . You can also start planning your next vacation! 😂
In October, the first person in family of 5 developed symptoms of COVID 19.I thought that one of us was at risk and went through a lot of distress. In the end they experienced mild symptoms.I took the opportunity to analyze and work on my resilience:→ About being worried:Fear takes over everything. My capacity to think rationally took a hit and I was mentally stuck.→ What I already knew:50% of the recovery started with healthy eating and exercising.→ “Coaching protective concepts” that helped:
→ What I knew in theory but blew my mind in practice:Social support: being supported by our friends and network gave me a feeling of social belonging; a critical part of recovery and SO comforting.→ Totally new:A stationary bike stand: to be able to cycle at home!! 😂Life is full of ups and downs. Are you taking every opportunity to work on your own recovery strategy? What works for you? Have a great day!
What you need to know about the Fertile Void (final):At work we will always choose the best way of maintaining balance as we adjust our behavior to changing circumstances. Sometimes the process gets stuck, and the person cannon develop.The 4 typical strategies that people use but that block their development:✔ Introjection: the person has swallowed opinions whole. With a fixed belief about how to behave, the options are limited. E.g: “you must be strong” or “don’t cause trouble”✔ Projection: when a person projects onto other people and disowns her own behavior denying her contribution. E.g: manager who complains that the team is unresponsive.✔ Retroflection: a person does to himself what he wants to do to other people. E.g: Self-blame “it’s all my fault”✔ Confluence: someone who merges with others with a weak sense of own needs. E.g: someone agreeing too readily, unable to disagree with the group.If this happens ask yourself:✨ what was I trying to avoid?✨ what would I lose if I stopped behaving in this way?✨ What would I gain?Priority #1 is to raise our self-awareness; the start point for change! 👊
My office this week!During my last supervision session I realized the importance of self-care in coaching.✔️ Being fully present with our clients involves being as connected to the world as possible.✔️ We are responsible for maintaining equilibrium in the relationship. We need to support our clients and in case turbulence arises, it is important to practice self-respect and think well of ourselves.✔️ If you want to be “confidently humble”, make sure you are comfortable in your own skin and not stressed or overwhelmed.But the real reason I am taking one week off is that as a mother of 3 kids under 10, I am following the Swiss school system that takes a 2-week break at this time every year.I thank my Supervisor for reminding me to disconnect to reconnect, and the Swiss system for making it mandatory. 🙏Do you also need to be reminded to take a break? What are you planning for your next one
Fear of judgementA few years ago my father turned 60 and said:· When I was 20 I was worried about what others would think of me· When I turned 40 I stopped caring about what others would think of me· Now I realize that nobody was ever thinking about me that much 😂I can’t go back in time and explain to my teenage self (left picture) that nobody cares about those pimples; but I don’t have to wait until I’m 60 to realize that people are too busy with their own lives. They don’t have time to really think about me.Some ideas to battle our fear of judgment:✔ you are your biggest critic - minimize that weight✔ it’s impossible to be liked by everyone at all times✔ we can’t control what people think✔ switch the focus of your energy: from outside to inside✔ move from vulnerability to capability✔ reduce the judgements you make or radically stop judging others (best option)✔ use LinkedIn as a fitness center to fight the insecurity about what you are going to sayAgree?My dad is a genius 😍
When leaders behave like coaches, creativity and collaboration replace fear and blame. A coaching leader reminds all team members that none of us is as smart as all of us.Old habits like commanding and controlling are archaic and inefficient. They are being replaced with trust. Coaching is emotional intelligence in practice and a mechanism of transformation.A coaching leadership style delivers the highest level of performance and self-responsibility. Instead of weakness, problems or past actions, it focuses on strengths, solutions and future success.The good news is: coaching is a skill that can be learned 👊. Anyone can learn how to be a coaching leader.Have a great day!
“Being a good coach” came on top of a very long list when Google launched a companywide internal review to establish what made an effective leader in 2013. The millenian generation desires coaching by their managers.The perception of being assisted by a coach has changed over the years and being a coachee is not seeing as an indication of weakness anymore. Nowadays it shows the support of the employer to the person; executive leaders are usually the ones with access to coaching. The company hires a coach to help senior corporate players navigate the complex situations of their roles.The young generation is very aware of the importance of coaching and is starting to crave for that investment at earlier stages. A coach can also help to ease the transition into a first-time leadership role and support the new manager on the “people issues” as the article says.No matter at what stage of your career you are, everyone needs a coach! It’s a matter of time that companies realize this too.
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