Have I asked the easy question or the difficult question? ✨The issue is not easy to resolve, otherwise we wouldn’t be talking.When a client comes to coaching we work on difficult areas of personal development: they cannot deal with the topic themselves.The easy conversation happens in the zone of comfortable debate, it’s light and superficial. But to deal with the problem sometimes we need to go to an uncomfortable zone where there is tension. 😳Here is where we can hold up a mirror so the person sees something they do not want to see, but that will help them resolve their difficulty.We can only change what we know!So in this beautiful dance we move from the zone of comfortable debate to the heart of the matter, in and out. The conversation moves around the core of the issue, the elephant in the room.And here the key is to be direct and not directive. Sometimes the coach leads the dance, and sometimes the client leads the dance.The music stops when we reach our common purpose and unlock a breakthrough. 😍(Inspired by John Blakey and Ian Day and their book ‘Challenging Coaching’)Do you usually stay on the surface in your conversations or do you enjoy going deeper?
https://youtu.be/AYER7capsqQOne of my clients was very clear about what he had to do to reach his important and long-term goals.But the truth is that he was too busy solving immediate and urgent tasks.He was very productive in those areas where he performed well, but that place where he felt confident at some point became his limitation.Our brain is wired to keep us safe and avoid danger for our own survival; so how do we convince ourselves to go to that difficult place where good things happen?I suggested a ¨Moving beyond comfort zones¨ exercise based on the book ¨101 Coaching Strategies and Techniques¨ by Gladeana Mc Mahon consisting of three steps:Step 1️⃣:Identify three of your comfort zones. Those areas where you´d benefit if you made a change.Step 2️⃣:Choose the one that will get you closer to your important goals, and that you are ready to challenge. Take a piece of paper and break it down:✔ What benefits would that bring you?✔ What are your fears?✔ What´s holding you back?Step 3️⃣:Face those fears and expand your comfort zone.✔ List the actions you could do to expand your limitations✔ Detail the support you need and from whom✔ Prioritize each action and specify the dates when you will startOur comfort zone is a great place, but nothing great grows there anymore.Let´s be brave and tell our brain there´s nothing to fear. 👊
You can´t give what you don´t have. ✨If you want to give affection and support to those around you, you need to be well yourself. Forcing yourself to care for others when you are not in a good state is not sustainable.It´s like asking your bank for a loan to give money to others when you don´t have a penny yourself. In the end the system will collapse.The desire to support others with their well-being arises spontaneously when we experience positive emotions ourselves.Taking care of yourself is a generous act of kindness. 🌹Invest in yourself, my friend!
Only when you experience something do you fully understand it. ✨I´ve tried to understand and master mindfulness several times during the last two years. I´ve started two courses and learned the theory, but I never finished them.I´m very aware of how much the practice can help me, but it didn´t click and I felt maybe I´m just not spiritual enough.Then last week an amazing Mindfulness teacher at the Positive Psychology Masters I´m studying explained that the best place to practice is within your own life.Because mindfulness only means that:✔ We pay attention to a specific thing (breathing, body...)✔ With an intention✔ With an attitude of kindness, without judging the experience.If you know the theory you can practice mindfulness anywhere: while walking your dog, cooking . . . or just having a conversation 😍, and you´ll get the same benefits. You don´t need to wear yoga pants and burn incense in a quiet room. You can train your brain to be fully present anywhere!And that´s what I´ve been intensely doing these past two years.In each coaching session:✔ I pay full attention to a specific thing: my clients´ stories✔ With a clear intention: to structure the conversation and create the space to think✔ With an attitude of kindness without judging the experience: always!So my Masters includes a third meditation course, but this time I´m going to nail it. It took me two years of unintentional practice but I finally got it.In which activities are you fully present? Where are you in your meditation journey?(Thank you Cristian Coco, Mindfulness teacher at MAPPA UJI).
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